"Sometimes being alone....Ain't always wrong"

Can I be frank?

I'm lonely. I'm alone. I'm uncertain as to which of those statements sounds less desperate but I'm definitely not that! I just find myself in an interesting point in life where I'm not surrounded by the slew of friends and familiar (root word being family) faces that make it that I never feel alone (or lonely). I guess it's part of growing up. Folks who truly know me know me (that sounds weird saying know me 2x) to always be around friends or communicating with them via cellular device and/or social media. Having left the city of brotherly love for the city that never sleeps, I'm quite a way's travel to my friends, the best group of friends a young man could ask for might I add! Couple that with the fact that I'm no longer the social butterfly whose wings fluttered so elegantly, I think I've transitioned out of that phase of life. Who would've thought? My parents occasionally voiced their concerns that I was too involved with friends and would miss out on great life opportunities for the sake of my social life. I can't comment on their concerns but I certainly attest to the sheer social exhaustion that occasionally overtakes me now and the problems that it dealt me, particularly with members of the opposite sex. I'm certainly not the kid I was a few years back, I can bet you that much.

Nowadays I find myself marching to the drum of my own beat and I love its sounds if I do say so myself!!! As I march, I'm finding that I'm transitioning out from Social Dave, everybody's BFF Dave to just Dave and at the appropriate time, relationship Dave to Married Dave and then Married...with Children! Lol. Honestly, I'm welcoming those new titles with open arms, trusting it's the will of God. I think I've transitioned quite well from the young lad who once was insecure, uncertain of himself and incapable of committing to anything or anyone. While that was certainly a painful time for myself and other parties, I think that it was necessary for growth and achievement and I'm loving the man I'm becoming more and more!

As I continue to transition from the former Dave, I humbly await her arrival. Who is she? I cannot say. I can speculate but what purpose would that serve? And because I wait for her, I cannot remain the as the former Dave, the socialite. I received a lot of criticism for having too many lady friends regardless of how innocent they were. I'm also finding that women in my age bracket are waiting for "him" and nobody's really interested in "just chillin" or being friends. Those things are officially overrated to me lol. With that said, I seldom reach out to my single friends of the opposite sex. Don't take it personal but I don't want to "test" or casually date. My few attempts failed miserably and God keeps reminding me (whether in my spirit man or through His messengers) that I'm not cut for the dating game so I'll humbly bow out, sit tight and wait for her. In the interim, I'll embrace my singleness in ministry, professional endeavors and other self-cultivating activities (i.e. attaining financial stability, hobbies, learning to cook, etc.)

I'll be fine. God is with me, molding me as He sees fit. And when He thinks that I'm lonely, He'll send her, that I'm certain. Until then, "sometimes being alone ain't always wrong."

-DJL


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

On the Cusp of Turning 27

I turn 27 tomorrow God willing. While I'm doubtful that I'll experience something dramatic overnight that'll make me feel or know that I've turned 27, I'm excited nonetheless at what the new year will bring. I tell most folk that after turning 25 life took a steady pace, one in which I was more cognizant of my environment and gauge my maturity from my youthful ways and thought. My 26th year was quite eventful as well (see blog "This is a New Year for love, Love in the Future"). The wonderful thing about having a birthday so close to the new year is that rather than joining the rest of the world in declaring a New Years resolution, I can simply make declarations in my 27th year. So this year I've got a few things on my agenda and I figured I'd mention them here to keep me honest and you informed as well. Do understand that these are in no particular order. I had originally intended to try and amass 27 goals but that's a far stretch lol.

• Get my own place. 
• Learn to cook meals other than breakfast lol.
• Join a gym or fitness center of some sort out here in NYC. The kid has put on a few pounds smh. 
• Be consistent in my tithes and offerings to God. 
• Open a 401K and make the highest contribution possible.
  Go to professional sports game. I've never done that in my 26 years. 
• Become a better Bible student. 
• Learn to really play bass. Yes I know this has been on my list forever lol. 
• Visit Haiti. 
• Visit another country. 
• Attend an opera or show on Broadway. 
• Walk across one of NY's bridges. 
• Be baptized in the Holy Spirit with the manifestation of speaking in heavenly tongues. 
• Visit a few museums. 
• Step up my wardrobe (once the pounds are shed of course). 
• Enter in a relationship with the woman who's to be my wife. Yea that's a big one y'all lol. 
• Visit my bro in Cali. 
• Read and blog more. I've been taught since grade school that in order to be a better writer one must be well read. 

That's all I've got for now folks! Gotta brace myself to undertake these things with the understanding that I can only do so by God's grace as I'm not guaranteed tomorrow. To Him be all glory, honor and praise forever. Amen.

-General Maximus

"Measure Twice. Cut Once."

A phrase often used by contractors as a guideline for carpentry. It works to minimize risk error when ting sheet rock, piping, wood blocks, etc. I'm no carpenter but I think I need to apply this same philosophy to my own life. Too often have I miscalculated some of my own actions and like a carpenter who improperly cuts material, I'm left with pointless pieces or the need to get more material, incurring further expenses.



I need to think more like a carpenter. While I do believe everything happens for a reason and that God has orchestrated the details of my life, I tend to make careless mistakes that leave me frustrated, borderline depressed and sometimes heartbroken. How much of these could I have spared myself or those around me?!



(Repeats to self) "Measure twice. Cut once. Measure twice. Cut once. Measure twice. Cut once."



By George I think he's got it!!!



(F train whisks into the subterranean abyss.)

"This is a new year, for love, love in the future......" - John Legend

Today marks the first day of 2014. As usual, I bring each year to a close in church only this year I was in Brooklyn and not Philadelphia. As I made the 20 mile commute to my new home in Queens, I thought to myself, why sleep when I could blog? 2013 ended too quickly for me to reminisce the various happenings in my life over the year. What better way to document it and gauge progress in 2014 than this entry? In 2013 I maintained a healthy dosage of ups and downs:

• I swore I was starting in the NYPD academy in January 2013 only to be wait listed for July. That was a serious bummer as I was looking for it to relieve me of my dead-end, pennies-paying job at the Media Courthouse. Not long after I contemplated becoming a pizza delivery man to make ends meet but The Lord came through with the consulting opportunity at JP Morgan. Starting there brought an end to my retails days at Banana Republic. 7 years off and on. That's a long time! 
• I managed to grow a full beard not once but twice in 2013! I also made the switch from glasses to contacts, hopefully I can shed the "Arthur" moniker lol. I was blessed with the chance to walk in my twin's wedding in the Dominican Republic. That was an AWESOME trip! Some time after that I decided to go bald, one of the best decisions of my life apart from the contacts. 
• And then with 2-3 weeks left of the year, I made the leap to NYC. 

Those were the major events but sprawled throughout the year were disappointments like failed possible romances (oxymoron) and losing close friends and severing ties with mere acquaintances. What an interesting year. On the scoreboard of life I'm failing miserably at putting any points up as God is beating me terribly with all the points. I look forward to the ups and downs that 2014 will surely bring. I've tightened my laces and heading back to the court for the next game of pick up with God. 

-Dave aka General Maximus

Too Many Thoughts, Few Means to Release Em

Writing provides an outlet for one who's mind is bombarded with thoughts, ideas, stories, etc. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending how you look at it) I don't have someone to listen to all I have to say, someone to whom I can think aloud so I saw fit to blogging, that way I could keep you (the reader) abreast of what is going on in my mind as I navigate this thing called life in the greatest city on earth, NYC. Yes I know. It's only been 2+ weeks and I've already bought in to the idea that New York is the best city ever. Judge me if you will but if you're of the Caribbean demographic, you know that NYC is too often mentioned synonymously with the US. Yes, the entire United States of America. A bit of a stretch but it happens to be the destination of everyone, from all over the world. So much so that it has become a smorgasbord of ethnicity and often coined as a melting pot of people of various backgrounds and nationalities. Now to address you who's too domesticated to think on the foreign scale, where are many movies and television shows filmed? NYC. For you financiers, the financial capital of the world?  Again, NYC. So to you nay-sayers I urge thee to open your eyes and face the facts. Now that I've proven my case and, should you wish to follow my blogging still, I'll share with you my thoughts and ideas, good times and perhaps some of the bad ones, observations and prayers, and everything else that may come across my mind as I try to make my mark in such a grandiose ville. This city is a beast of its own, far different from anything I've experienced in my 26 years and if I don't tread carefully it'll swallow me whole. I intend to tame this beast to the best of my ability or at the very least live in harmony with it. I'm feeling a bit daring so we'll see what happens. Needless to say I've got the Almighty in my corner so rather than saying the sky is the limit, I'll go a bit further by saying there is no limit! I've said enough--I've got some conquering to do!!!

-Dave aka General Maximus

In the Beginning.....

When does one begin to think? When does one recall having thoughts? Is that even possible? To many the task is impossible. As long as we could remember, thoughts have been closely correlated to our memories of various things involving our five senses--what we hear, see, touch, feel, taste. Our encounters with the things of this world using these senses make our memories more unique, bringing us back to those moments of the past when one of the senses are aroused in that same manner. Think about it--have you ever smelled something and immediately remembered that scent from your past? You could recall what you were doing, wearing, who you were with, etc. Our memories are so closely intertwined with our senses that we have a surplus of recollection. This surplus can only clutter the mind, where the conscious dwells. The conscious is bombarded with these memories and produces methods of organizing them, hence the term "thoughts." Thoughts are merely clusters of related and different memories, tying together to help formulate one's perception. The conscious stores these many clusters in various ways, similar to the filing cabinets in the office setting. Different from our conventional filing cabinets in that the memories can be regrouped at any moment, typically when a new one enters the cabinet. This can happen rather often, depending on the individual, changing the clusters and then changing one's perception.

So then we return to the first question---when does this begin? The initial answer is to say,"at birth" or "as a baby." Perhaps. But if you are anything like me you consider not the typical response but instead ponder long and hard, scraping one's mind clean for an answer. Clearly the beginning of thought only begins when one realizes that one's perception is only a cluster of thoughts which derive from the many clusters of memories stored away for the consumption of the conscious. Similar to the person it inhibits, the conscious will show favoritism in that it will group these thoughts as it pleases, leaning the individual towards one perception. It then becomes the task of the individual to accumulate a variety of thoughts, never experiencing too many of the same things but sending up an array of new work for the conscious. All this to create some sort of balance and minimize bias. Too many thoughts too soon, however, may overwork the conscious, providing too many thoughts for the conscious to process. The results of this are yet to be published but it is said that at these times the Subconsious makes its presence known, a character that we'll entertain later.

So here it is folks, here's my collections of thoughts that I wish to share with you. Why keep them cooped up in dusty old filing cabinets when I can show them to others? Why allow my conscious to dictate what comes and what goes? Why not pry as much as I can from that database and tell the world? Who knows? Maybe you'll be inspired to challenge your conscious! Do you really know what you know or do you think you know it because that's all your conscious allots you? You really don't know until you try ;)

Disclaimer: THOUGHTS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE--BOTH YOURS AND MINE.