"Sometimes being alone....Ain't always wrong"

Can I be frank?

I'm lonely. I'm alone. I'm uncertain as to which of those statements sounds less desperate but I'm definitely not that! I just find myself in an interesting point in life where I'm not surrounded by the slew of friends and familiar (root word being family) faces that make it that I never feel alone (or lonely). I guess it's part of growing up. Folks who truly know me know me (that sounds weird saying know me 2x) to always be around friends or communicating with them via cellular device and/or social media. Having left the city of brotherly love for the city that never sleeps, I'm quite a way's travel to my friends, the best group of friends a young man could ask for might I add! Couple that with the fact that I'm no longer the social butterfly whose wings fluttered so elegantly, I think I've transitioned out of that phase of life. Who would've thought? My parents occasionally voiced their concerns that I was too involved with friends and would miss out on great life opportunities for the sake of my social life. I can't comment on their concerns but I certainly attest to the sheer social exhaustion that occasionally overtakes me now and the problems that it dealt me, particularly with members of the opposite sex. I'm certainly not the kid I was a few years back, I can bet you that much.

Nowadays I find myself marching to the drum of my own beat and I love its sounds if I do say so myself!!! As I march, I'm finding that I'm transitioning out from Social Dave, everybody's BFF Dave to just Dave and at the appropriate time, relationship Dave to Married Dave and then Married...with Children! Lol. Honestly, I'm welcoming those new titles with open arms, trusting it's the will of God. I think I've transitioned quite well from the young lad who once was insecure, uncertain of himself and incapable of committing to anything or anyone. While that was certainly a painful time for myself and other parties, I think that it was necessary for growth and achievement and I'm loving the man I'm becoming more and more!

As I continue to transition from the former Dave, I humbly await her arrival. Who is she? I cannot say. I can speculate but what purpose would that serve? And because I wait for her, I cannot remain the as the former Dave, the socialite. I received a lot of criticism for having too many lady friends regardless of how innocent they were. I'm also finding that women in my age bracket are waiting for "him" and nobody's really interested in "just chillin" or being friends. Those things are officially overrated to me lol. With that said, I seldom reach out to my single friends of the opposite sex. Don't take it personal but I don't want to "test" or casually date. My few attempts failed miserably and God keeps reminding me (whether in my spirit man or through His messengers) that I'm not cut for the dating game so I'll humbly bow out, sit tight and wait for her. In the interim, I'll embrace my singleness in ministry, professional endeavors and other self-cultivating activities (i.e. attaining financial stability, hobbies, learning to cook, etc.)

I'll be fine. God is with me, molding me as He sees fit. And when He thinks that I'm lonely, He'll send her, that I'm certain. Until then, "sometimes being alone ain't always wrong."

-DJL


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